I woke up to a harangue on my facebook wall yesterday morning. I must say that online disputes are one of those things that pains you in the ass, especially when the raucous one is some under-aged kid. Before you even deliberate on reading further, you must be forewarned that this article contains language and sarcasm which might trigger some form of images resulting in adverse effects. The impacts varies on the readers’ comprehension competence.

It takes a while to regain equanimity I must say.

Allow me to name lady-in-question, Little Miss Good Friend.

From her wall scribbles, I had some innate traits which she helped me discovered (the beauty of social media, must be); some of which include: ungentlemanly, jealousy and name-calling. In this new age of ubiquitous new media, her idea of text-copying and analyzing is considered to be impolite if it’s done by ungentlemanly guys like me. It will be, on the other hand, an act of elegance to quote the writings on this blog and paste it on a social medium like she did so with elegance, accompanied with vapid comments which are less likely to be construed as arguments.

I have regarded Tributum to be consumed by a niche group of readers, probably less than 50. I tend to keep relationships, friendships and issues on work openly published on this space. But her reckless option to scribble on my facebook probably helped proliferate readership. I think more than 300 people are aware now. Of all ways to help clear her best friend’s name, and in her best attempt to air her grievances, she chose the facebook wall. What kind of best friend does this? Talking about damages done.

As undergraduates, I will have expected readings to be read within context, but skewing it out of perspective seems to be in trend. Furthermore, I’ve got to learn that Voldemort is an “utmost disrespectful term to describe a girl.” God, I didn’t know that!

I would have considered a “lascivious narcissist” a more inappropriate term to use. But she was mistaken. Read the post again if you will, and the repeated usage of You-Know-Who tickled the hell out of me, like it will have been in the movies. I just have to reassure the readers that I’m certainly not referring You-Know-Who as Voldemort.

But it was taken so personally that she thought I’d labeled her best friend as the dark lord.

Then she started lampooning and educating me in ways which she thought were more feasible to resolve doubts she absolutely have no business to begin with. But it warms one’s heart to know that a vigilante of sorts is looking out for you, even when it’s at a remote corner of the blogosphere.

If you have issues with them, you could jolly well approach them and clarify. And NOT blogging about “you-know-who” and not allowing any comments

This quote has a tinge of nostalgia, sounds exactly how my primary school teacher will tell me. You “jolly well” bring your books, “jolly well” cut your hair. All the joy and cheerfulness aside, Christmas is still quite a long way ahead. I seemed to have a directive from a superior to not blog about a friend — I wonder why — and even if I was impelled to do so, I shouldn’t have closed the comments; however, since when were comments mandatory? In the special semester module that I’m currently taking, support were garnered from cultural producers who chose to silence any views which they deemed detrimental. Moderation is a chore.

All that said, Little Miss Good Friend feels that plain sarcasm is forbidden; perhaps a well-decorated one will be well-received. She reckoned that the sarcasm depicts a torrent of jealousy within me. And she went on with her affirmation that her best friend really knew the boyfriend very well, and began to wonder why haven’t I faced the fact already.  Truth is, the previous entry exists as a form of rant and it is a form of humour written with a deliberate stench of sarcasm. What I could have done was to rate the entry with “Unsuitable for Kids”, because it was a patent indication that some individuals just can’t stomach sarcastic literature.

By their morally high standards, it’s more acceptable if I had these thoughts generated at the back of my mind compared to publishing them openly to those who are interested. Little Miss Good Friend will be an exemplary candidate for the Young People Action Party because she strongly feels the need to regulate Internet content and impose censorship to biased, subjective content. Well done, she should be the president of the censorship board.

Obviously, a month and a half to know someone — to confer someone as your life partner, as the survey response so clearly stated — is in my opinion, to have exist a form of reasonable doubt. We doubt all the time, especially so when we do speak of the truth, and there will be others who choose to believe otherwise. There’s nothing wrong to doubt, it’s just that some stories take a little more effort to convince. And in this classic case of understanding an individual, I choose to believe that this understanding was specious.

Their repeated visits to this site probably indicate a fear in tarnishing their good name, which as of now, there are no significant signs to prove that my articles are capable of delivering pernicious payload of that scale. If a website so much as affects an individual, it’s either I’ve hit it on the right note, or they’re just having a bit of insecurity issues which they couldn’t reconcile with. They have options though, to email me their concerns, or to simply eff off.

On a side note, it seems that Little Ms Good Friend wasn’t a shining beacon after all. At least I took effort to leave names out, her callous use of names involving some children she was tutoring was, in my very biased opinion, lacking in professional ethics. I’ll leave the details on another entry.

Sometimes, we ought to ask ourselves in the mirror, as we judge others so readily, are we ready to offer overselves up for judgement?

I’m off running for the mirror.