Dear friends,

I sit here in my room, at three-thirty in the morning, attempting to find out why there are such complexities in the hearts of man. There are several questions on my mind now. Instead of finishing up my readings, overdue web casts and tutorials, I am completely bogged down with questions that concern the human kind.

I’m not intending to switch my major in the late hour of my third year studies from computing to biology, so don’t second guess my intentions. Those who have known me would have seen this instantly as a joke, albeit rather off-coloured. But there are those who will not understand me, not without additional effort. I have had a number of talks this week with you guys  — all concerning friendships and relationships. Although the talks ended amicably, there were still a cocktail of mixed feelings left behind.

In most cases, I felt we were closer but in the fewer ones, I felt we had distance ourselves. It is saddening to observe at such a later stage of the semester that some of us have drifted apart; it hurts even more to know that the day of inevitable separation is not far ahead.

All of us came in hopeful to build deep, reliable and real friendships. It is not by lady luck that our lives have crossed. To witness our relations get eroded because of misinterpreted intentions,  non-factual assumptions, and heated verbal disagreements is simply heart-wrenching. So, why are we stingy with words that speak of life but generous with speeches that pierce the hearts?

Up till this paragraph, I have spent more than an hour deleting sentences and constructing new ones so that the more sensitive ones among us will not seek to read between the lines. But why should I be afraid of how incorrectly others may perceive of me? True friends understand me, wouldn’t they? Wouldn’t you?

Why do we exclude people from our lives when we begin with hope that others will accept us readily? And why do we demand changes from others when we are filled with the same truckload of unsavory qualities?

How can we allow our hearts to rear such ugliness of conceited personalities when these traits are the ones that we hate immensely? And why do we allow conflicts to perpetuate knowing that we can do something to curtail the problem before it becomes insurmountable?

Why have we allowed our pride to grow in our lives more often than we care to admit that now this very pride has fractured perfectly fine relationships?

Wouldn’t it be better if we stop interpreting kind concerns as malicious intents? Wouldn’t it be advisable to get our facts right before we force an assumption or jump onto conclusions?

So many people have been offended this week and I’m constantly being reminded on Pastor’s message last fortnight on Offenses, and how they affect us. It is by God’s grace that most of us are still on talking terms, but for now, it’s my prayer that these hearts of stone be softened and those in hurt get healed.  It takes great lengths to maintain such wonderful friendships with these wonderful people. Shall we try and get it sorted out?

It’s almost two hours since I’ve started writing, let’s hope for a brighter morning in an hour or two.