The number of to have items on my lists kept increasing. Especially for this month. I have been splurging quite a bit, basically on movie DVDs, books, shoes, and what may sound amazing to many; food. I am quite confident in gaining back some mass that I’ve lost during the past 10 months of training.

To add to the list, I’ve just gotten the latest 2 months old (latest in Singapore) Planetshakers music CD directly from Australia.

Not that I really have to buy it from overseas, but this abovementioned CD couldn’t be found anywhere. I’ve tried Mount Zion and Life Bookshops, but can’t seemed to locate this disc. Even Attributes  didn’t have it.

Anyway, I have really been spending. I actually wanted to get a list of items ready for my University studies, like new clothes and computer accessories. So, I asked Kwok Rui out to shop this afternoon, walked around a bit. Talked a lot, but didn’t seem to get anything I want. We ended up in the Kinokuniya bookstore, and saw this famour Singapore author signing books off. Like Mr Brown, he too has a column in Today newspaper, and joked about himself being the next to be kicked out of Singapore by the government. Browsed through his books, and found the content pretty interesting. Really tempted to buy them, especially when you can have a chance to get them signed by the author himself.

I resisted the temptation in the end. Just because I still have a newly unwraped virgin book yet read by me. Well, these books shall be next on my list of To Read.

I still cannot take that fact that I am the only person in the graduating batch to sign on for this scheme. The other VAs seemed to get along pretty well. Especially those up at STECH. While I’m left alone.

I’m expected to do well. Probably get a first class honours. On the other hand, dark forces kept trying to put me down by telling me that I wouldn’t have a chance to. Telling me don’t even try to upgrade to ATA, because I probably won’t get past the board. What is this man?

Perhaps of the ranking. I wouldn’t want to subject myself from further discrimination anyway. To sit in front of the selection board, and being asked why my performance back in SOCC isn’t at least one of those in the first quarter percentile. I know I wasn’t that bad. Perhaps peer assessment and commanders’ appraisal. I don’t think Melvin meant it when he messaged me telling me that I have done well.

And I don’t think Phua and Dean ever think highly of me. I know that they have given me chances, even Galen did so, but well. It all didn’t went too well, isn’t it? *Sigh*

Read Guo Rui’s entry regarding his National Service stint and his current girlfriendless position, I realised how similar a situation I am facing. I like National Service, so far. And I am still single.

Whlist many will say that it is a blessing to stay single, I think not. I don’t know. Perhaps time hasn’t come yet. The right one hasn’t appear yet. Guo Rui felt lonely, as much as I kept myself busy, I felt empty too. And it’s not the first time. I shan’t dwell on it now anymore.

I just realised that I’ve quite splurged a bit this month. Have got to control, especially when next month is not going to be a smooth month without the government paying me anymore. I do look forward to studying. And after attending the Qualifying English Test last Friday, I got to realise that there are lots of foreigners here.

Feel so intimidating.